Why I Don’t Take Insurance (and Why That Might Actually Be in Your Best Interest)
I get it. You probably clicked this link after checking my FAQ or pricing page, wondering: “Wait—why doesn’t Alex take insurance?
Is he just another expensive therapist? Why is therapy set up this way?”
Totally fair question.
Therapy can feel like a big investment, and if you already pay for insurance, it makes sense that you’d want to use it. On paper, it looks like the obvious choice.
But here’s the thing—what seems simple and convenient on paper can end up costing you more in quality and depth. So let’s talk honestly about why I don’t take insurance, and how that decision actually protects the kind of therapy you deserve.
Therapists Aren’t Greedy—But Insurance Companies Sure Are
Here’s something most people don’t realize:
Insurance companies usually reimburse therapists only about 30-50% of what we could charge privately.
(Imagine taking a 50-70% pay cut to do the same work)
That means most therapists have to see nearly twice or three times as many clients each week just to stay afloat.
Think about that—thirty, forty, sometimes fifty sessions a week.
That’s a lot of emotional labor, and it leaves very little energy for depth, creativity, or presence.
Now, throw in a wave of VC-backed mental health platforms—Lyra, BetterHelp, EAP programs—and the situation gets worse. These companies have taken the same broken insurance model and supercharged it for profit. They love talking about “accessibility” and “innovation,” but behind the curtain, they’re tracking metrics, chasing investor returns, and cutting corners wherever they can.
Hell they might even be selling your data!
Therapists get pressure to hit quotas, shorten sessions, and churn through clients quickly.
And let’s be honest—there’s a bit of dark comedy in the way these systems treat healing.
Like, sure, you can heal your trauma in ten sessions! Or fix twenty years of anxiety with a “five-session CBT package!”
Because of course, therapy is linear and humans are simple—just follow the steps and boom, you’re healed, right? (If only.) The reality is that growth isn’t a clean, corporate workflow. It’s messy, nonlinear, and deeply human.
It’s therapy as fast food—efficient, profitable, and completely disconnected from real healing.
The system wins, but you lose.
That’s why I’ve chosen to stay independent—so your therapy doesn’t answer to spreadsheets or shareholders. It answers to you.
Why This Actually Affects You. And Why You Should Care
You might be thinking,
“Okay, but that’s not really my problem. Therapists chose this career. Why should it matter to me if they’re tired or underpaid?”
Fair question.
But here’s the thing: you can get by with an overworked doctor or a dentist who rushes through your cleaning.
Therapy isn’t like going to the doctor or the dentist.
The connection is the work. It relies on attention, empathy, and presence—things that simply can’t exist when a therapist is running on empty.
When your therapist is stretched too thin, they can still show up, but not in the way you need.
They might care deeply, but they’ll miss things—the tone in your voice, the subtle shifts in emotion, the deeper patterns underneath your words. And that matters.
Because real therapy depends on those small moments of attunement and connection.
With insurance, you just end up being a number. Client 25 out of 30, or the 7th client in a long day.
Therapists (even though they don’t want to) start seeing you not as a person to invest in, but just another cheap, low rate, insurance client (that they might want to get rid of so they can get a full fee client.)
That’s why I choose a smaller caseload and why I don’t take insurance. It’s not about the money—it’s about giving you my best, not my leftovers.
Why Most Therapists End Up Leaving Insurance Panels
Here’s the truth that doesn’t get talked about enough: most therapists who take insurance don’t do it because they love the system—they do it because they care.
They want therapy to be accessible, and their hearts are in the right place. But over time, they start to realize that the system itself is broken.
Some stay because they feel obligated.
Others do it as a form of charity or service. And a lot of therapists stay simply because they don’t have a choice—they’ve got bills to pay, student loans to manage, and families to support. The reality is, financial survival often keeps good therapists stuck in a system that doesn’t serve them or their clients.
But here’s the problem—insurance isn’t built to support generosity. It drains it.
There’s a quiet culture in our field that glorifies self-sacrifice, that says, “real therapists should struggle so clients can afford therapy.”
But here’s the problem—insurance isn’t built to support generosity. It drains it.
There’s a quiet culture in our field that glorifies self-sacrifice—this belief that “real therapists should struggle so clients can afford therapy.”
There’s truth in wanting therapy to be accessible, but when that value gets twisted into martyrdom, it helps no one. It doesn’t make therapy better; it just creates burned-out therapists and unstable care.
At the end of the day, therapists who are burdened with insurance aren’t bad people—they’re just exhausted people trying to survive inside a system that doesn’t care about them.
They’re counting the minutes until the day ends, racing through paperwork to bill insurance, crossing their fingers that they’ll actually get paid without clawbacks or another marathon phone call with some claims department.
And when the check finally comes? It’s for a fraction of what their work is worth.
Eventually, most realize they can’t keep doing meaningful work inside a system that punishes depth.
So they leave—not because they stopped caring, but because they care too much to give half of themselves to their clients.
Therapy Is an Investment—Not Just a Transaction
Here’s what I tell people: therapy isn’t a service you “buy.” It’s an investment in how you show up in your life.
When you commit your time, energy, and yes, money, you’re signaling to yourself that this work matters. And that shift changes everything.
I’ve had clients who adjusted their budgets, cut back on smaller things, and made therapy their priority.
And you know what?
Those are the clients who grow the most.
Not because of what they paid—but because they showed up fully. They treated therapy like a commitment, not a convenience. And that mindset makes all the difference.
But What If I Really Can’t Afford It?
Let’s be honest—therapy is expensive, and accessibility matters.
I completely understand that. Some therapists offer sliding scale options or lower-fee spots for clients who truly can’t afford full rates, and that’s a good thing.
But even then, it has to be sustainable for both sides.
A sliding scale isn’t about finding a discount—it’s about honesty.
It’s about saying, “Here’s what I can realistically do,” and finding a fit that respects both your situation and your therapist’s capacity.
Because when therapy becomes a race to the cheapest rate, the quality always suffers.
Sustainable therapy—good therapy—requires balance. It has to support both the client and the therapist.
So… Is It Worth It?
That depends on what you’re looking for.
If you want short-term symptom relief, or a few quick tips to get by, then yes—insurance-based therapy might do the job.
But if you’re craving real change—the kind that helps you finally break old patterns, heal from the past, and build something different—then investing in private therapy is worth every bit.
When I’m not limited by insurance rules or session limits, we can focus on what actually matters for you. We can go deeper, move slower, and build something lasting.
Because what you put in—your time, energy, and investment—is what you’ll get out.
What Happens When You Commit to This Kind of Therapy
Here’s what makes this kind of work different from the typical insurance-based therapy model: it’s not just about symptom reduction—it’s about transformation.
Insurance therapy often focuses on checking off boxes: fewer panic attacks, less anxiety, better sleep.
Those are great starts, but they don’t tell the full story. What I aim for is deeper healing—the kind that changes how you live, not just how you feel week to week.
When clients fully invest in this process, here’s what starts to happen:
Anxiety eases up—not because you learned a quick breathing trick, but because you finally understand what drives it.
You stop overthinking and start feeling—you learn to trust yourself instead of constantly second-guessing everything.
You feel safer in your own body—no longer running on autopilot or reacting to every stressor.
Your relationships change—you stop performing, over-giving, or people-pleasing, and start showing up as your real self.
You find clarity—you know what you want, how to ask for it, and you stop apologizing for taking up space.
This kind of therapy doesn’t just quiet the noise—it helps you rewrite the story.
It helps you connect the dots between your past and your present, break free from survival mode, and actually build a life that feels good from the inside out.
That’s the difference between symptom management and transformation. And that’s what makes this work worth every bit of investment.
The Kind of Client You Want to Be (For You, Not Just for Me)
Let’s talk about what kind of client you want to be—not just for me, but for yourself.
You want to be a client who invests in therapy because they believe their healing matters, not because they’re checking a box on their benefits plan.
If you’re looking for the cheapest option, a quick fix, or the best “deal,” we probably won’t be a good match.
And that’s okay.
But if you’re ready for deep, thoughtful work with a therapist who’s fully present and invested—you’re my kind of client.
I want to work with people who have skin in the game.
The ones who show up ready to face the hard stuff, stay curious, and keep going even when it’s uncomfortable. Because that’s where the real growth happens—not just in therapy, but in life.
Schedule a Consultation
If you’re ready to stop surviving and actually start living, this is your moment. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation, and let’s talk about what therapy could look like when it’s real, grounded, and focused on lasting change.
If you’re ready to invest in your growth, your peace, and your healing, let’s get started. Click below to book your spot—because your life deserves more than quick fixes and surface-level care.
About the Author: Alex Ly, LMFT
Hey, I’m Alex Ly, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Fremont, California. I work with high-functioning adults who feel anxious, disconnected, or burned out—even when life looks “fine” on the outside. My approach blends trauma-informed depth work with practical, action-based strategies so you can live differently—not just think differently.
Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, family wounds, or burnout, I’ll help you move out of survival mode and into a calmer, more connected life. I offer in-person therapy in Fremont and online therapy throughout California, serving therapy clients all over the Bay Area.
If you’ve been searching for an Asian therapist, trauma therapist, anxiety therapist, or depression therapist who understands cultural nuance and goes beyond quick fixes, we might be a great fit. I also specialize as a burnout therapist for professionals feeling stretched thin, and as an online therapist in California for those who need flexibility.
Therapy with me isn’t stiff or scripted—it’s honest, relational, and focused on real growth. If that’s what you’re ready for, schedule your free consultation and let’s get started.
